Real Talk

I’ve heard multiple times on this journey- sometimes out of the mouths of loved ones, but mostly from my own mouth, “It’s good to follow your dreams, but maybe you should go out and get a ‘Real Job.’” Honestly, I have struggled with the feasibility of making my dreams come true and weighed it against the reality of needing to sustain the cost of living. I have grappled with the guilt of feeling like a financial burden and not contributing equally to the household. I have had sobering moments with myself and asked, “At what point am I just being Selfish?” I have even given myself, the universe, and my dreams ultimatum after ultimatum. Declaring in a state of Frustration and Exasperation, “If I don’t see results in one month from now, I’m going out and getting a ‘Real Job.’” Yet, each time I stomp my feet and shake my fists, the universe reaches out, saves me from myself, and I am able to hang on a little longer. I kid you not, I was in the midst of one of my mind bending stomach churning fits of frustration, when my husband said, “Maybe you should read this book.” He walked over to my side of the bed, reached for a dusty book lying face down on my side table, and handed it to me. I looked at the cover and read the title: Three Feet From Gold. I was astonished that I had been sleeping next to this book for close to two years and never thought to open it, but when I did I discovered it was about not giving up on your dreams when you are so close to success. And so, I hung on a little bit longer! The universe has aided me on my daily struggle to fight back those voices with little nuggets of inspiration sprinkled along my journey. Sometimes they are as simple as noticing a license plate that encourages me to keep going in some small way, or sometimes I would come across a successful person I admire and think to myself, “If they can achieve success, so can I!” I sincerely believe that I am on the right path and that I am capable of achieving financial freedom while doing what I love. That being said, I would be lying if I did not admit that just yesterday, while ruminating over the events that took place last week I felt the pang of frustration with constantly hitting walls. I have always thought that when you are on the right path obstacles would dissolve. That is not to say that I don’t believe there are challenges I am meant to overcome. However, in my naivety I believed that when you are in the flow of your purpose you would rise above those challenges, not be crushed by them. And so, that ever so tempting thought crept into my mind, “Should I quit?” Then I had a vision of a pregnant elephant and I remembered that elephants are among the few mammals with long gestation periods. They carry their young for nearly two years because they are so large with massive brains there is a lot of development that needs to take place. I felt this vision was a metaphor for my dreams. I am giving birth to more than just my dreams. I am ushering in my legacy and like the mother elephant I should be at peace knowing that something great is on it’s way- and that truly great things just take a little longer to gestate. In the meantime I’m going to continue doing what I do best and have faith that I am Living my Dreams and my dreams are the key to the Freedom i seek.